Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
