I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
