Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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