saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
