Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
