You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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