Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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