I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
