the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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