for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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