We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
