I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
