i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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