thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
