kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm really busy with my period
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