Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
