But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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