someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
