Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
