they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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