he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
