her vagine was all disorganized.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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