I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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