I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
