I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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