Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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