We're facebook friends in real life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
