is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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