also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
