living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
