i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
