OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
