he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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