so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
