a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
