You work out of a Hotel?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its not stalking. its research.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
