Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
