Don't you send me to vm
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
