So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
