I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
