i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
