I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
