You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We're too hungover to prance.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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