as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
