That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There r osticjed everywhere
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
