I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
