I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
