So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
