Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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