Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize