She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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