So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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