you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
