I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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