kristin has been a bad kristin
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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