Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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