just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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