singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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