Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
