Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
