Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
